You might wonder why I am so interested in a weight loss drug without side effects. Well it is not for me because I am naturally kind of skinny. I have been hoping that this kind of magic pill would be invented for ages for my overweight friends. They need a pill bad because the only thing that works for them when it comes to losing weight is smoking about a pack and a half of cigarettes a day. Unfortunately when any of them stop smoking they always gain back twenty pounds and it is truly horrific for them. That twenty pounds can mean the difference between getting a job or not, or a date or not and a lot more. I don’t care what everybody says about Jennifer Lopez’s big butt legitimizing the plus size girl and all that. Everywhere I look “thin is in.”
The problem with previous weight loss drugs is that they have all had serious side effects. You could become very nervous, ruin your intestines or drop dead from a heart attack. Seizures were a risk if you took ephedrine. You could die from dehydration drinking some of those so-called Chinese diet teas. Many prescription weight loss drugs on the market can also cause something called anal leakage (I don’t want to go there.) Taking these drugs is has made obese individuals even sicker and putting them at even greater risk of developing diseases like cancer and heart disease.
So I was kind of happy to read this article in Medical News Today, by Dr. Nir Barak of the Tel Aviv University School of Medicine. He has a team that has developed a drug called Histalean, which is based on a previous drug called Betahistamine. Betahistamine is traditionally used to treat vertigo but it is found that it chemically contains compounds that can help block cravings (the same way the drug blocks the sensation of dizziness.) The result is that there is a great potential for weight loss and hundreds of lives could be saved everywhere.
This new medication could also allow fat people who could never exercise before to get an initial boosting work out so that they feel encouraged to work out or stick to a diet plan. Even if people were on it for a short time they could be greatly encouraged by an initial large loss. Unfortunately after many young women quit smoking they blow right up and then fall into a deep depression when they can’t see immediate results from exercising and dieting. Losing two pounds a week can be a slow and unrewarding process for many!
I actually think its main benefit could be to get millions of women off of the cancer sticks. I think the cigarette industry is more than aware of the weight loss attributes of smoking cigarettes and that is why they are marketed to so many young women.
The problem with previous weight loss drugs is that they have all had serious side effects. You could become very nervous, ruin your intestines or drop dead from a heart attack. Seizures were a risk if you took ephedrine. You could die from dehydration drinking some of those so-called Chinese diet teas. Many prescription weight loss drugs on the market can also cause something called anal leakage (I don’t want to go there.) Taking these drugs is has made obese individuals even sicker and putting them at even greater risk of developing diseases like cancer and heart disease.
So I was kind of happy to read this article in Medical News Today, by Dr. Nir Barak of the Tel Aviv University School of Medicine. He has a team that has developed a drug called Histalean, which is based on a previous drug called Betahistamine. Betahistamine is traditionally used to treat vertigo but it is found that it chemically contains compounds that can help block cravings (the same way the drug blocks the sensation of dizziness.) The result is that there is a great potential for weight loss and hundreds of lives could be saved everywhere.
This new medication could also allow fat people who could never exercise before to get an initial boosting work out so that they feel encouraged to work out or stick to a diet plan. Even if people were on it for a short time they could be greatly encouraged by an initial large loss. Unfortunately after many young women quit smoking they blow right up and then fall into a deep depression when they can’t see immediate results from exercising and dieting. Losing two pounds a week can be a slow and unrewarding process for many!
I actually think its main benefit could be to get millions of women off of the cancer sticks. I think the cigarette industry is more than aware of the weight loss attributes of smoking cigarettes and that is why they are marketed to so many young women.
Didn’t believe it could happen to me but it did. I met one of those guys who take you to MacDonald’s for a first date.
I met him last week after a class and he seemed nice enough. He is a science major. He asked for my phone number but I did not give it to him at first because I was just not in the mood for any more man.
However he looked better to me the night after when my girlfriends and I bumped into him at a party. He really got me laughing when he spent the longest time trying to guess my phone number. I found out his name was Paul and that he was studying to be a doctor. After he charmed me for about a half an hour I agreed to go out with him the next night. He said he wanted to take me to “dinner” and to consider it a date.
So I was pretty happy when he when pulled up the next day in his car. I had gotten all dressed up in this nice eighties retro plum colored dress and black high heels. He looked a little casual but I had no idea that he was thinking of taking me to MacDonald’s for dinner.
Even when he told me we were going to MacDonald’s I started laughing because I thought he was joking. Even when we pulled into the parking lot I still thought he was pulling my leg. Then I realized when he parked the car that this really was his idea of the dinner date and that it was not some kind of quick snack beforehand. This was the whole deal.
He did seem a little sheepish as we sat at our little plastic tables. It might have been because I was so overdressed. Also he was not as witty as the night before. It occurred to me quite quickly that this was one of these guys that can’t come out of their shell unless they are drunk.
After our meal of “two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun was over he suggested we go to a bar. We ended up in this seedy student pub by the campus where I got to watch him play pool. Yep he was one of those guys too – the kind that never asks the girl if she wants to play too. He was just into the guys and expecting me to sit there like some kind of submissive little thing… this is jus ton my style. The sad thing is I could have beat him at pool too if he had only let me play.
After watching him lose at pool a few times I got a bad case of “what am I doing here” and left. He actually called again today but I think I am going to ignore him this time. All he wanted to know is how I got home! Jerk!
I met him last week after a class and he seemed nice enough. He is a science major. He asked for my phone number but I did not give it to him at first because I was just not in the mood for any more man.
However he looked better to me the night after when my girlfriends and I bumped into him at a party. He really got me laughing when he spent the longest time trying to guess my phone number. I found out his name was Paul and that he was studying to be a doctor. After he charmed me for about a half an hour I agreed to go out with him the next night. He said he wanted to take me to “dinner” and to consider it a date.
So I was pretty happy when he when pulled up the next day in his car. I had gotten all dressed up in this nice eighties retro plum colored dress and black high heels. He looked a little casual but I had no idea that he was thinking of taking me to MacDonald’s for dinner.
Even when he told me we were going to MacDonald’s I started laughing because I thought he was joking. Even when we pulled into the parking lot I still thought he was pulling my leg. Then I realized when he parked the car that this really was his idea of the dinner date and that it was not some kind of quick snack beforehand. This was the whole deal.
He did seem a little sheepish as we sat at our little plastic tables. It might have been because I was so overdressed. Also he was not as witty as the night before. It occurred to me quite quickly that this was one of these guys that can’t come out of their shell unless they are drunk.
After our meal of “two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun was over he suggested we go to a bar. We ended up in this seedy student pub by the campus where I got to watch him play pool. Yep he was one of those guys too – the kind that never asks the girl if she wants to play too. He was just into the guys and expecting me to sit there like some kind of submissive little thing… this is jus ton my style. The sad thing is I could have beat him at pool too if he had only let me play.
After watching him lose at pool a few times I got a bad case of “what am I doing here” and left. He actually called again today but I think I am going to ignore him this time. All he wanted to know is how I got home! Jerk!
Okay this is ridiculous but yet another man saddled me with the bill for the dinner last night. This guy was gorgeous. He looked just as I remembered when I first met him in the department store in the woman’s glove department. We both had a fetish for white kid gloves with little pearl buttons. Cliché I know and at first I thought he was gay. I actually asked him whether or not to find out if he was and he said no. Of course after what I am about to tell you, you might think differently.
We went to a fabulous little restaurant on the beach. He picked me up in his silver sports car, which he said he had just paid off. Now I am wondering if he borrowed it. I was a little wielded out by the Liza Minnelli tape playing in the car on our breezy drive along the cause way. Still who is to think that gay men don’t like Liza Minnelli?
For most of the evening he acted just like Prince Charming. He made eyes at me, laughed at my stories and even touched my hand across the table. He spent a lot of time telling me all about his acting career and how well it was going. At one point he did say something about my shoes being the wrong color. He also made a comment about my hair color. I thought it was a little Queer Eye for the Gay Guy.
The dinner was superb. We had a super expensive bottle of wine, appetizers, main course, and even though I could not eat another bite, we ordered dessert. My girlfriend Sarah text messaged me to see if it was going well and I enthusiastically tested her back to say it was going great and there was no need to create a fake emergency or come stake out the restaurant.
After we shared two or three after dinner liquors and some chocolate volcano cake the waiter finally brought the bill. It turned out to be well over $200 for the wine and everything. My prince charming turns and looks at me and says, “Let’s go Dutch.”
I look at him really dubiously and he keeps looking at me back as if to say “What?” I then tell him that I thought this was a date. He then tells me that he was sorry he misunderstood and that he only has one hundred on him and that he has to go to the bank machine and that he will be back.
So he gets up and leaves. Guess what? He never comes back. I sit there for well over an hour waiting for him to return and he never does. I end up paying the check.
So I have only two conclusions about this. He was a gay guy looking for a free meal or he just really didn’t have the money to pay the bill and ducked out. Gay or broke – what do you think? Maybe it was both!
Why oh why is it getting impossible to get what you need for the first month of classes when everyone around you is so hooked up?? I think you all know how much of a headache it can be to get on campus and have to immediately make changes to switch out of or switch into different classes. I decided a while back that if there are changes to be made, everything must be put together very carefully so that you need to make just ONE visit to the registrar, meaning just ONE long wait in line and not weeks of schedule adjustment, dropping in and out of endless lecture halls as September rolls on by.
But year after year the nightmare gets worse, and I think it has a lot to do with students (usually the freshmen of course, but there’s no limit on idiots in the student body, right? J) getting too hooked up to their iPods. The lineups are like torture sessions, and by the time you get to your turn in line, the registrar is just about on the edge of a nervous breakdown after dealing with so many attention spans dropping down to zero because of iPods, and that’s not even counting all the blackberrys and cellphones.
Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t ever be caught without hookups when I leave the house, like not EVER. But I always turn off my units when I get close enough to the front of the line. I mean, what good is it to create delays? But unfortunately most students don’t pay any attention to that, which is funny (but not really) because they’re only extending their own stay and ruining it for all of us too.
Like last week, I had two courses to get out of and I already had the two picked. I checked it all out online first, and the two I wanted to get into were still available. So all it was going to take was a minute or two at the registrar desk, and my fall term was more or less set. Sound easy? It sure sounded that way to me at the time. When I got into the registrar area first thing in the morning the lineup was already insane, but I expected that anyway. What I didn’t expect was the people up at the front delaying their own business with constant earphone removal and replacement, answering their ringing cells, all this on top of their clueless attitude about their class schedules. But the crazy bit about the whole thing was that I could see students closer to the front grumbling and laughing and making fun of the situation, but these were the SAME people who refused to turn off THEIR iPods when it was their turn!!
So what can I say? It’s obvious to you by now that my whole morning was shot. Forget about the polite signs asking people to be “courteous” and shut off their hookups when using a campus service. Maybe they should threaten a tear-gas attack instead, if that’s what it’s going to take to make a difference between the iPod junkies and the well-organized minority. I mean, come on, wake up, you know?
But year after year the nightmare gets worse, and I think it has a lot to do with students (usually the freshmen of course, but there’s no limit on idiots in the student body, right? J) getting too hooked up to their iPods. The lineups are like torture sessions, and by the time you get to your turn in line, the registrar is just about on the edge of a nervous breakdown after dealing with so many attention spans dropping down to zero because of iPods, and that’s not even counting all the blackberrys and cellphones.
Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t ever be caught without hookups when I leave the house, like not EVER. But I always turn off my units when I get close enough to the front of the line. I mean, what good is it to create delays? But unfortunately most students don’t pay any attention to that, which is funny (but not really) because they’re only extending their own stay and ruining it for all of us too.
Like last week, I had two courses to get out of and I already had the two picked. I checked it all out online first, and the two I wanted to get into were still available. So all it was going to take was a minute or two at the registrar desk, and my fall term was more or less set. Sound easy? It sure sounded that way to me at the time. When I got into the registrar area first thing in the morning the lineup was already insane, but I expected that anyway. What I didn’t expect was the people up at the front delaying their own business with constant earphone removal and replacement, answering their ringing cells, all this on top of their clueless attitude about their class schedules. But the crazy bit about the whole thing was that I could see students closer to the front grumbling and laughing and making fun of the situation, but these were the SAME people who refused to turn off THEIR iPods when it was their turn!!
So what can I say? It’s obvious to you by now that my whole morning was shot. Forget about the polite signs asking people to be “courteous” and shut off their hookups when using a campus service. Maybe they should threaten a tear-gas attack instead, if that’s what it’s going to take to make a difference between the iPod junkies and the well-organized minority. I mean, come on, wake up, you know?
If you are going to stay sane in this crazy old world and especially if you are going to continue dating then you need to learn to let go every now and then.
Although anger at times is an effective tool in dealing with difficult situations, if used too often, it loses impact. For if you are always angry, no one can tell the difference between when it is "real" and when it is just a "knee jerk" reaction. So they will tend not to take you seriously if you are always angry... compounding your frustration.
The first step in the journey toward forgiveness is the realization that anger is most often born out of ignorance.
Here is a list of ways you can be ignorant about your own anger.
· You are unaware of all the facts or are misinformed.
· You have false judgments or unrealistic expectations about the situation.
· You are really angry with yourself but are taking it out on someone else.
· The anger relates to unresolved past pain and not to what "caused" it now.
· The anger is 100% justified based upon what others
· The final step in the journey towards forgiveness is to routinely practice "better responses to anger"
Forgiveness is a form of realism. It doesn't deny, minimize, or justify what others have done to us or the pain that we have suffered. It encourages us to look squarely at those old wounds and see them for what they are. And it allows us to see how much energy we have wasted and how much we have damaged ourselves by not forgiving.
Forgiveness is an internal process. It can't be forced, and it doesn't come easy. It brings with it great feelings of wellness and freedom.
Forgiveness is a sign of positive self-esteem. We no longer identify ourselves by our past injuries and injustices. We are no longer victims. We claim the right to stop hurting when we say, "I'm tired of the pain, and I want to be healed." At that moment, forgiveness becomes a possibility-although it may take time and much hard work before we finally achieve it.
Forgiveness is letting go of the past. It doesn't erase what happened, but it does allow us to lessen and perhaps even eliminate the pain of the past. The pain from our past no longer dictates how we live in the present, and it no longer determines our future.
It also means that we no longer need resentment and anger as an excuse for our shortcomings. We don't need them as a weapon to punish others nor as a shield to protect ourselves by keeping others away. And most importantly, we don't need these feelings to identify who we are. We become more than merely victims of our past.
Forgiveness is no longer wanting to punish those who hurt us. It is understanding that the anger and hatred that we feel toward them hurts us far more than it hurts them. It is discovering the inner peace that becomes ours when we let go of the past and forget vengeance.
I just got back from one of the STRANGEST dates of my life! Everything about it was different and I don’t mean a FUN or GOOD kind of different. Starting right off with the fact that I didn’t meet this guy online. Serious, it was my first non-line (J) date in months. There are these tennis courts I walk by every afternoon on my way home and I started noticing this guy there maybe three or four days a week. So of course I can tell you he was in kicking shape, who wouldn’t be after all that exercise so often?
So I started watching him play, just sitting quietly off to one side. Sometimes I’d go get a coffee and then come back to watch. Not like I’m into tennis that much beyond Roddick and that shaved head guy who married another tennis player, but it was fun to watch and even kind of relaxing. This guy was older than me but not by much, and he always played with different partners. I was really into his dedication and focus.
So after a week or two he noticed me sitting there and came over to say hello on a break from playing. We talked a little and he told me he was in the restaurant business and that he always tried to take as many afternoons as possible to go out and play tennis. He didn’t ask to see me again right away, and I kind of liked that, so I went back the following week and this time he came over and invited me to join him after the match. I couldn’t that day so we made a date for a few days after that.
So fast forward to last night, when we met up at a bar near a restaurant where he told me he’s part-owner. We’re there only about ten or fifteen minutes when he starts an argument with me, and not a constructive argument either. He asked me how much time I spend online average each day, and I told him it varies, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know where he was going with this, but then he made it crystal clear: he said the Net “ruins people’s minds” and why am I online when I could just go do something else, like play tennis? I was shocked, didn’t know what to say right off…and then he asked me if I used online dating and I told him yes, I used it a lot. And then he just about lost it! He luanched into some kind of moral speech about the Net separating people instead of bringing them together, why am I a part of the problem, blah blah blah. I excused myself and took off, the only time I’ve EVER done that, but what else could I do? This guy was out of control.
I’m not going offline and I’m not going to listen to ignorant people try to dig up something wrong because maybe they’re not happy with their own lives. I like the people I meet, people like YOU, and that’s it
So I started watching him play, just sitting quietly off to one side. Sometimes I’d go get a coffee and then come back to watch. Not like I’m into tennis that much beyond Roddick and that shaved head guy who married another tennis player, but it was fun to watch and even kind of relaxing. This guy was older than me but not by much, and he always played with different partners. I was really into his dedication and focus.
So after a week or two he noticed me sitting there and came over to say hello on a break from playing. We talked a little and he told me he was in the restaurant business and that he always tried to take as many afternoons as possible to go out and play tennis. He didn’t ask to see me again right away, and I kind of liked that, so I went back the following week and this time he came over and invited me to join him after the match. I couldn’t that day so we made a date for a few days after that.
So fast forward to last night, when we met up at a bar near a restaurant where he told me he’s part-owner. We’re there only about ten or fifteen minutes when he starts an argument with me, and not a constructive argument either. He asked me how much time I spend online average each day, and I told him it varies, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know where he was going with this, but then he made it crystal clear: he said the Net “ruins people’s minds” and why am I online when I could just go do something else, like play tennis? I was shocked, didn’t know what to say right off…and then he asked me if I used online dating and I told him yes, I used it a lot. And then he just about lost it! He luanched into some kind of moral speech about the Net separating people instead of bringing them together, why am I a part of the problem, blah blah blah. I excused myself and took off, the only time I’ve EVER done that, but what else could I do? This guy was out of control.
I’m not going offline and I’m not going to listen to ignorant people try to dig up something wrong because maybe they’re not happy with their own lives. I like the people I meet, people like YOU, and that’s it
I ran across this interesting article by Samantha Stevens, author of Creating Love and with her permission I have a list here of the types of gemstones that you can wear or carry to attract love.
Sapphire: This stone protects you from forces antithetical to love such as violence and lust. The sapphire can help women select an appropriate husband.
Yellow Topaz: This clear yellow gem is the 'problem-solving stone'. This stone is also good for those who feel 'numbed by disappointment'. It allows codependents to release drunken or abusive partners. It can also help obsessive people learn to let go. It helps you recognize your patterns and see the 'big picture' in life.
Rose Quartz: This light pink crystal heals the heart and promotes a sense of self-appreciation, and self-love. It also helps you open your heart's center so that you can give love, unconditionally without any expectation of a reward in return. It improves your mood and enhances feelings of joy.
Diamond: Diamonds have traditionally symbolized the commitment of one human being to another. It helps you perceive beyond surface appearance and understand the truth about another person.
Emerald: This brilliant green stone is used to help you learn lessons, so you don't repeat mistakes in your love life. Its deep sea green color is reminiscent of the subconscious, so it can assist in the manifestation of appropriate relationships in your life.
Ruby: The blood red light of the ruby helps to dispel feelings of discouragement and self-doubt and infuse your heart, mind and aura with love.
It can help you achieve a vibrant social life and attract the right friends.
Amethyst: This beautiful purple stone that helps you let go of past hurts and relationships. It will help you access the truth that will set you free.
As not everyone can afford rubies, sapphires and diamonds, there are also many semi-precious stones out there that also raise your vibration to attract prosperity.
Agate: strengthens your insight, promotes fidelity
Aquamarine: activates memory of past lives so we don't repeat mistakes
Carnelian: dispels laziness, rage, jealousy, envy and fear
Garnet: love, devotion, commitment, gets rid of feelings of abandonment,
Hematite: transforms negative energy to the positive, attracts love
Jade: fidelity, devotion, love-drawing, lucid dreaming, intuition,
Lapis Lazuli: awareness, intuition, cures depression, love attracting
Mica: beauty for eyes and hair.
Moonstone: new beginnings, hoping, wishing, tenderness, compassion, mercy
Obsidian: grounding, protection, dispels obsessions, raises self-esteem
Onyx: banishes grief, increases self-control, making wise choices
Opal: brings out the best in you, acting from the heart, invoking visions, dreams,
Pearl: faith, charity, innocence integrity, spiritual guidance, increases fertility
Peridot: attracts friends, cleanses heart, happiness
Quartz (clear): balances energy field restores harmony, intuition,
Quartz (rose): attracts love, heals emotional wounds, opens heart center and clears skin
Quartz (smoky): dissolves negative energies, resentment, enhances self-esteem
Samantha’s excellent books on metaphysics and love are available on Amazon. You can also get a love reading from her on Kasamba. Just type Samantha Stevens into the search engine at kasamba.com and she will give you a love or dating psychic reading.
Sapphire: This stone protects you from forces antithetical to love such as violence and lust. The sapphire can help women select an appropriate husband.
Yellow Topaz: This clear yellow gem is the 'problem-solving stone'. This stone is also good for those who feel 'numbed by disappointment'. It allows codependents to release drunken or abusive partners. It can also help obsessive people learn to let go. It helps you recognize your patterns and see the 'big picture' in life.
Rose Quartz: This light pink crystal heals the heart and promotes a sense of self-appreciation, and self-love. It also helps you open your heart's center so that you can give love, unconditionally without any expectation of a reward in return. It improves your mood and enhances feelings of joy.
Diamond: Diamonds have traditionally symbolized the commitment of one human being to another. It helps you perceive beyond surface appearance and understand the truth about another person.
Emerald: This brilliant green stone is used to help you learn lessons, so you don't repeat mistakes in your love life. Its deep sea green color is reminiscent of the subconscious, so it can assist in the manifestation of appropriate relationships in your life.
Ruby: The blood red light of the ruby helps to dispel feelings of discouragement and self-doubt and infuse your heart, mind and aura with love.
It can help you achieve a vibrant social life and attract the right friends.
Amethyst: This beautiful purple stone that helps you let go of past hurts and relationships. It will help you access the truth that will set you free.
As not everyone can afford rubies, sapphires and diamonds, there are also many semi-precious stones out there that also raise your vibration to attract prosperity.
Agate: strengthens your insight, promotes fidelity
Aquamarine: activates memory of past lives so we don't repeat mistakes
Carnelian: dispels laziness, rage, jealousy, envy and fear
Garnet: love, devotion, commitment, gets rid of feelings of abandonment,
Hematite: transforms negative energy to the positive, attracts love
Jade: fidelity, devotion, love-drawing, lucid dreaming, intuition,
Lapis Lazuli: awareness, intuition, cures depression, love attracting
Mica: beauty for eyes and hair.
Moonstone: new beginnings, hoping, wishing, tenderness, compassion, mercy
Obsidian: grounding, protection, dispels obsessions, raises self-esteem
Onyx: banishes grief, increases self-control, making wise choices
Opal: brings out the best in you, acting from the heart, invoking visions, dreams,
Pearl: faith, charity, innocence integrity, spiritual guidance, increases fertility
Peridot: attracts friends, cleanses heart, happiness
Quartz (clear): balances energy field restores harmony, intuition,
Quartz (rose): attracts love, heals emotional wounds, opens heart center and clears skin
Quartz (smoky): dissolves negative energies, resentment, enhances self-esteem
Samantha’s excellent books on metaphysics and love are available on Amazon. You can also get a love reading from her on Kasamba. Just type Samantha Stevens into the search engine at kasamba.com and she will give you a love or dating psychic reading.
When I date I’ve never had too much of a problem with big egos, but my girlfriend Brit just broke up with maybe the biggest ego of all time. I only met him once, but it was the kind of thing you don’t forget and right away I asked her what her problem was, hanging onto this guy for over like five minutes, let alone the two or three months she dated him.
They met on the Net on a couples site I don’t use anymore because of a few disasters too many. Brit was talking about him for like three weeks before they actually met, going on and on about how he was an actor and she’d never dated an actor before. I kept asking what she’d seen him in, or if there was anything about him I could look up, but she said he was sketchy on the details. Still, she totally believed him and the photos he sent her did look pretty good.
Ater they got together a few times she was still excited, if also a bit confused. She liked him but she told me he never once asked her anything about herself, like, not even once on three dates. But she kept going out with him because he thought he was the hottest thing going. I think a lot of you know where this kind of thing leads, and it’s never good, is it. Or you’re really lucky if it does work out. So I met him when I hooked up with both of them at a movie. Brit was right about him being kind of hot, but he wasn’t exactly Brad Pitt, and anyway I was just concerned about the way he treated my friend, that was it. I was with an old friend (a cool guy I used to date), but he didn’t say much to us beyond introductions. After the movie we went to a bar and suddenly he opened up, but not in a good way. It was all about him, of course.
As for acting, he didn’t have much to say about his experience but he sure had a whole lot to say about his abilities! He kept saying “I’m a triple threat, I’m a triple threat!” over and over, until we finally got him to explain just what that meant, and he just about barked it out: “I can SING, I can ACT and I can DANCE!” It’s an amazing thing to have all three, but he just came off like a lot of hot air and then he became really annoyed when we started asking him about his “credits”, movies or television, that kind of thing. He told us we wouldn’t understand his “vision” anyway, so that sort of became his excuse for not admitting to us that he was either a bad actor or an unsuccessful one anyway.
Brit didn’t last too much longer with him. I don’t want to give actors a bad name or anything, but this particular one? I bet he can’t even remember Brit’s name. That’s how into himself he was. So it wouldn’t hurt to tread carefully when you date an “artist”..;)!
They met on the Net on a couples site I don’t use anymore because of a few disasters too many. Brit was talking about him for like three weeks before they actually met, going on and on about how he was an actor and she’d never dated an actor before. I kept asking what she’d seen him in, or if there was anything about him I could look up, but she said he was sketchy on the details. Still, she totally believed him and the photos he sent her did look pretty good.
Ater they got together a few times she was still excited, if also a bit confused. She liked him but she told me he never once asked her anything about herself, like, not even once on three dates. But she kept going out with him because he thought he was the hottest thing going. I think a lot of you know where this kind of thing leads, and it’s never good, is it. Or you’re really lucky if it does work out. So I met him when I hooked up with both of them at a movie. Brit was right about him being kind of hot, but he wasn’t exactly Brad Pitt, and anyway I was just concerned about the way he treated my friend, that was it. I was with an old friend (a cool guy I used to date), but he didn’t say much to us beyond introductions. After the movie we went to a bar and suddenly he opened up, but not in a good way. It was all about him, of course.
As for acting, he didn’t have much to say about his experience but he sure had a whole lot to say about his abilities! He kept saying “I’m a triple threat, I’m a triple threat!” over and over, until we finally got him to explain just what that meant, and he just about barked it out: “I can SING, I can ACT and I can DANCE!” It’s an amazing thing to have all three, but he just came off like a lot of hot air and then he became really annoyed when we started asking him about his “credits”, movies or television, that kind of thing. He told us we wouldn’t understand his “vision” anyway, so that sort of became his excuse for not admitting to us that he was either a bad actor or an unsuccessful one anyway.
Brit didn’t last too much longer with him. I don’t want to give actors a bad name or anything, but this particular one? I bet he can’t even remember Brit’s name. That’s how into himself he was. So it wouldn’t hurt to tread carefully when you date an “artist”..;)!
All of this writing I have been doing about male anger inspired a reader to ask me a very good question. “Is there any medical treatment available for men who are chronically angry?”
This is an interesting question as there are many women out there who continue to stay with a guy even if he is a beater or even just a woman like me who has had to reluctantly drop a guy she really likes because he can’t handle himself.
So are there magic bullets out there that can handle this? It depends if the person has a treatable disorder that has anger as a symptom. Some of the most common of these disorders are Attention Deficit Disorder, addiction and withdrawal and a plethora of psychological disorders including manic depression, post-partum depression and personality disorders.
Usually aggression is part of any disease or disorder that causes a mood disorder. Such individuals become angry because they have a problem that causes them to overreact to stimuli. Damaged nerves or an overproduction of certain chemicals in the body could cause this. In these cases it is usually medications that are prescribed by doctors.
Sexual frustration is also associated with aggression, especially amongst adolescents. Interaction with a female with whom an adult male is infatuated may precipitate aggression. Usually psychological counseling is recommended for individuals who suffer from aggression.
When medication is prescribed for anger it is usually a psychotropic. The choice of medication for treatment of aggression depends on what the underlying symptoms are. For instance, if the child or adolescent has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and the aggression stems from impulsive behavior, then the use of stimulants such as Ritalin or Adderall might help.
If the angry emotional reaction behavior is marked by hyperarousal then sedative drugs such as clonidine or guanfacine (Tenex), which decrease something called norepinephrine levels. This have an overall calming effect.
If anxiety is the main problem and aggression occurs in situations which escalate anxiety, treatment with a selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor (SSRI) such as Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil or Celexa. These drugs decrease anxiety, aggression, obsessive/compulsive behavior and smooth out irritability or minor mood fluctuations
If more severe mood instability occurs in association with aggression, then doctors and psychiatrists usually prescribe a mood stabilizer Anticonvulsant agents such as Tegretol, Depakene or Depakote are very effective mood stabilizers, but they are hard on the liver. Lithium is another commonly prescribed mood stabilizer, especially for manic depressives who are irritable and hyperstimulated in the manic phase of the disease.
If none of the above seems to work, the angry and aggressive individual may be prescribed on of the many T new atypical antipsychotic agents such as Seroquel or Topmax. Not sure I vouch for any of this. I think me should just control themselves.
This is an interesting question as there are many women out there who continue to stay with a guy even if he is a beater or even just a woman like me who has had to reluctantly drop a guy she really likes because he can’t handle himself.
So are there magic bullets out there that can handle this? It depends if the person has a treatable disorder that has anger as a symptom. Some of the most common of these disorders are Attention Deficit Disorder, addiction and withdrawal and a plethora of psychological disorders including manic depression, post-partum depression and personality disorders.
Usually aggression is part of any disease or disorder that causes a mood disorder. Such individuals become angry because they have a problem that causes them to overreact to stimuli. Damaged nerves or an overproduction of certain chemicals in the body could cause this. In these cases it is usually medications that are prescribed by doctors.
Sexual frustration is also associated with aggression, especially amongst adolescents. Interaction with a female with whom an adult male is infatuated may precipitate aggression. Usually psychological counseling is recommended for individuals who suffer from aggression.
When medication is prescribed for anger it is usually a psychotropic. The choice of medication for treatment of aggression depends on what the underlying symptoms are. For instance, if the child or adolescent has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and the aggression stems from impulsive behavior, then the use of stimulants such as Ritalin or Adderall might help.
If the angry emotional reaction behavior is marked by hyperarousal then sedative drugs such as clonidine or guanfacine (Tenex), which decrease something called norepinephrine levels. This have an overall calming effect.
If anxiety is the main problem and aggression occurs in situations which escalate anxiety, treatment with a selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor (SSRI) such as Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil or Celexa. These drugs decrease anxiety, aggression, obsessive/compulsive behavior and smooth out irritability or minor mood fluctuations
If more severe mood instability occurs in association with aggression, then doctors and psychiatrists usually prescribe a mood stabilizer Anticonvulsant agents such as Tegretol, Depakene or Depakote are very effective mood stabilizers, but they are hard on the liver. Lithium is another commonly prescribed mood stabilizer, especially for manic depressives who are irritable and hyperstimulated in the manic phase of the disease.
If none of the above seems to work, the angry and aggressive individual may be prescribed on of the many T new atypical antipsychotic agents such as Seroquel or Topmax. Not sure I vouch for any of this. I think me should just control themselves.
It’s minefield when it comes to dating out there. As I said in my last entry I was having difficulties with an individual who seems to think that I owe him a date and is expressing unhealthy anger at him for not going out with him.
I have actually been scared of this person a couple of times and thought I would do some more research on the signs of both of the main types of unhealthy anger – passive and aggressive anger.
Aggressive anger is the easiest type of anger for others to identify and it is usually expressed in one of the following ways.
· Being sarcastic
· Being offensive
· Not considering other people’s feelings
· Shouting
· Verbal abuse including unsolicited criticism
· Threatening gestures such as finger pointing, fist shaking
· Excessive swearing
· Wearing an attitude of defiance
· Wearing clothes that symbolize a defiant attitude
· Slamming doors
· Breaking the rules (such as the rules of the road)
· Playing loud music
· Blaming others without proof
· Destroying property
· Deliberately polluting the environment
· Preying on the weak
Passive Anger
· threatening others with physical harm
· Speaking too fast
· Driving to fast
· Reckless spending
· Showing off
· Refusing to delegate responsibility
· Being a sore loser
· Upstaging others
· Ignoring requests for help
· Cutting in line
· Shoplifting
· Planning or enacting revenge
· Unpredictable behavior
· Attacking innocent bystanders
· Inflicting harm out of the blue
· purposefully creating chaos with irrational acts and speech
· Creating confusion by being unpredictable and unreliable.
· Using alcohol and drugs to self-medicate swinging moods
Passive anger is a little trickier than aggressive anger as it is expressed in a covert way that mimics social acceptability. Here are some of the traits that identify a case of passive anger.
· Secretive behaviour
· Stockpiling resentments
· Spreading rumors that aren’t true about others
· Being sarcastic or cynical
· Giving others the silent treatment
· Muttering objections under your breath
· Avoiding eye contact
· Making anonymous complaints
· Writing poison pen letters
· Shoplifting
· Stealing
· Conning
· Manipulating such as provoking others to attack you and then acting innocent
· Being patronizing
· Talking above other people’s heads
· Provoking aggression between others and then staying in the sidelines to watch
· Emotional blackmail
· Feigning sorrow
· Pretending to be ill
· Sabotaging relationships
· Being sexually promiscuous
· Teasing others sexually
· Using a third party to convey bad news
· Withholding money or resources
· Being overly critical
· Inviting criticism on your self so you have a reason to act out passive behaviors
· Making do with second best so that you have a reason to act out passive behaviors
· Suffering but refusing help to frustrate others
· Being over familiar with others
· Setting yourself and others up for failure
· Purposefully choosing unreliable people to depend on
· Withdrawing sexual favors
· Underachieving on purpose
· Expressing anger at small petty things but ignoring the true causes to be angry
· Acting phony
· Refusing to take a position (sitting on the fence) and letting others work it out
· Objectifying other people
· Making hobbies or bad habits a priority
· Obsessing over cleanlinesses
· Being perfectionist
· Being evasive
· Refusing to help others in a crisis
Needless to say if you are dealing with anyone acting in the above days he or she would not be a good person to go out with.
I have actually been scared of this person a couple of times and thought I would do some more research on the signs of both of the main types of unhealthy anger – passive and aggressive anger.
Aggressive anger is the easiest type of anger for others to identify and it is usually expressed in one of the following ways.
· Being sarcastic
· Being offensive
· Not considering other people’s feelings
· Shouting
· Verbal abuse including unsolicited criticism
· Threatening gestures such as finger pointing, fist shaking
· Excessive swearing
· Wearing an attitude of defiance
· Wearing clothes that symbolize a defiant attitude
· Slamming doors
· Breaking the rules (such as the rules of the road)
· Playing loud music
· Blaming others without proof
· Destroying property
· Deliberately polluting the environment
· Preying on the weak
Passive Anger
· threatening others with physical harm
· Speaking too fast
· Driving to fast
· Reckless spending
· Showing off
· Refusing to delegate responsibility
· Being a sore loser
· Upstaging others
· Ignoring requests for help
· Cutting in line
· Shoplifting
· Planning or enacting revenge
· Unpredictable behavior
· Attacking innocent bystanders
· Inflicting harm out of the blue
· purposefully creating chaos with irrational acts and speech
· Creating confusion by being unpredictable and unreliable.
· Using alcohol and drugs to self-medicate swinging moods
Passive anger is a little trickier than aggressive anger as it is expressed in a covert way that mimics social acceptability. Here are some of the traits that identify a case of passive anger.
· Secretive behaviour
· Stockpiling resentments
· Spreading rumors that aren’t true about others
· Being sarcastic or cynical
· Giving others the silent treatment
· Muttering objections under your breath
· Avoiding eye contact
· Making anonymous complaints
· Writing poison pen letters
· Shoplifting
· Stealing
· Conning
· Manipulating such as provoking others to attack you and then acting innocent
· Being patronizing
· Talking above other people’s heads
· Provoking aggression between others and then staying in the sidelines to watch
· Emotional blackmail
· Feigning sorrow
· Pretending to be ill
· Sabotaging relationships
· Being sexually promiscuous
· Teasing others sexually
· Using a third party to convey bad news
· Withholding money or resources
· Being overly critical
· Inviting criticism on your self so you have a reason to act out passive behaviors
· Making do with second best so that you have a reason to act out passive behaviors
· Suffering but refusing help to frustrate others
· Being over familiar with others
· Setting yourself and others up for failure
· Purposefully choosing unreliable people to depend on
· Withdrawing sexual favors
· Underachieving on purpose
· Expressing anger at small petty things but ignoring the true causes to be angry
· Acting phony
· Refusing to take a position (sitting on the fence) and letting others work it out
· Objectifying other people
· Making hobbies or bad habits a priority
· Obsessing over cleanlinesses
· Being perfectionist
· Being evasive
· Refusing to help others in a crisis
Needless to say if you are dealing with anyone acting in the above days he or she would not be a good person to go out with.
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