Jens Blog

Ladies you are lying through your teeth all over the dating sites on the Internet again. Studies and first person anecdotes all over the web are saying that tons of women are claiming to be skinny when they are building like brick you know what houses. You are putting up pictures of yourself where you look really thin or even worse really old picots.

Many males say they feel like they are typical or shallow but they are sick of being fooled by women who say they are thin when really they are not. In fact misrepresenting your weight and body type has become a real art for some women. Why you would want to do this to them is a mystery to the men who do not appreciate the distortion of the facts especially when they are repulsed completely by big flabby women. They end up having to suffer through a date with you to be polite (and some do not even bother to do that.)

The problem seems to be with the automatic fill in fields in which you might be required to check a box that identifies your body type. All of these women represent themselves as “average” in size when really they are plus size. Some men go out on date after successive date with women who have said they are small framed or thin and have things hanging, bulging and drooping every where. Here’s a clue – if you have pouches of fat hanging over your kneecaps you are not “average.”

A male friend of mine was complaining about how some women were identifying average lately and I suggested to him that maybe there are a lot of women out there now that that thing 5 foot 4 at eighty pounds is the new average. Many men think about 5’7 and 130 pounds should be the average but this does not reflect how large American women have become in the past ten years.

Conversely women have the same problem only it is usually a man that lists their age as 25 when they are clearly in their mid thirties. Sometimes is really bad. You can see a chicken wattle beneath the man’s neck in his picture on his profile as he stands there wearing his white shoes next to his red corvette.

You know if you are a really fat woman there are many sites online that specialize in matching up plus size women with the men that adore them. Mostly these men are from Asian and Eastern cultures where a heavier woman is more adored. However this will spare you all the trouble of becoming emotionally upset when the man that thinks you are too fat rejects you.

Whenever something bad happens to you; whether it is work related or relationship related do you spend the next few hours weeks or months beating yourself up about it? This is one way to make rejection form men way too important.

If a reject is work, social or relationship related; do you spend the next few hours, days, weeks, months (or a lifetime) beating yourself up about it? I have good news! You can stop being this way right now.

How?

Simple. Choose not to react in your old habitual ways. Stop your automatic tendency to make it all about you. It is not about you.

No one is holding a gun to your head. You can make the choice to NOT let bad things affect you and essentially give up this self-defeating behavior.

I know this will come as a complete surprise to some of you. I know it did for me. Look at your negative responses and how you continue to dwell on them and I think you’ll be shocked to learn that this serves no real purpose. Once you realize
this, then you can begin to reverse the process.

A guy friend recently told me a story that illustrates this point perfectly:

He walked up to a girl in a group and said,

“I saw you staring at me (she actually wasn’t) so
I thought I’d come over and introduce myself.”

She blew him off immediately. So, without missing
a beat, he turned to one of her friends and said,

“How are YOU doin?”

She says,

“Great”.

They talk for a minute, he takes her over to a couch and they start making out. A few minutes later, the girl who blew him off comes over, sits down and wants to have a group kiss…then they ask him to leave with them.

This is because women always want what other women want. I can tell you this is true because I have gone out with some real jerks and nobody has ever even looked twice at them until they have appeared on my arm. This is true of guys who are not good looking, guys with a lousy job and guys who stammer and stutter.

When you suffer from events that are beyond your control, it makes your suffering much worse if you regard yourself as a victim. Since most of your emotional experiences are the direct result of how you interpret and personalize the events in your own lives, the important factor is the skill with
Which you handle your own response. It’s your own choice how you respond.

The key is to revise your attitude to blame things more on the situation rather than take the entire rap yourself. Give yourself a break. You can’t help it if one guy is an arrogant jerk, the next one a sex addict and the one after that a non-committing type. Don’t make a drama out of each and every dating disaster and you will be much better off.

Try it and let me know what happens!

Whether it’s something small like what shirt to buy or something big like what job to accept or whether or not to buy an expensive dress, does your internal dialogue sound something like this?

“Hmm, okay, which one will get me more en?”

If it does, then you’re going down a very dangerous road. Even if you have some success with this approach, you’ll be a slave to it for the rest of your life. You’re coming from a place of scarcity and your life is revolving around it.

If you keep doing what you’re doing you’ll keep getting what you’re getting…which is probably inconsistent success with men…at best!

Here’s how I make my decisions:

When I’m looking at new clothes, my decision to buy a particular item is NOT based on how much MORE I will get laid or how men might DIG it or how it might make a great conversation starter. I make the decision based on whether I LIKE it…period.

When I’m looking at a new car (my decision to buy is NOT based on whether men will think I’m doing well financially and want to sleep with me. I make the decision based on whether I LIKE it.

When I’m at a club, my decision to buy a lot of booze is NOT based on how many men I can lure over with free drinks, get drunk and trick I him to getting physical with me. I make the decision based on having a place to hang out and having drinks at my fingertips.

I think you get the idea.

Short of taking a shower, using deodorant and mouthwash, no decision you make should be based on whether the correct one will get men to like you MORE.

What I’m saying is that the next time you have a decision to make, it should be made based on how it’s going to please you as a person that likes herself or even himself is the most attractive to the opposite sex.

I have a friend name Richard who is single and just wants to take it slow and get to know a person well before he has sex with them or considered marriage. Lately he tells me he is really overwhelmed by all the women he meets that want to have sex right away.

Richard has been doing the online dating thing for many months and he is trying to be cautious. He usually just asks them out for coffee or to hang out with him and his buddies and play pool. According to him that low key and friendly approach is having women perceive him as a family man. It might be because he is not that hot about having sex right away.

Women who get too close too soon and do things like mentally outfit them for the baby carrier and the wedding tux turn off men. Richard says this gets so bad that women try to drag him into domestic supply stores like Babies R US, Ikea and the Pottery Barn to see if he is husband material. He has also been taken into department stores where he has been subtly directed into the wedding gown sections (where one girl actually made him try to pick out bridesmaid dresses with him) and past the jeweler counter where the engagement rings are kept.

Richard’s message to women nowadays would be to “Relax Ladies. It’s called DATING. A man will let you know if he wants to marry you. He goes, buys a ring, gets down on his knees (well sometimes), asks you and then puts a ring on your finger. Before that day happens we are not to assume anything (according to Richard.)

It is not something that you can convince a guy to do no matter how rich your daddy is. Richard really made me laugh with some of his comments especially when he started singing – “You can’t hurry love, you just have to wait.” He is also quite fond of walking around spouting that fresher cliché “What is wrong with you. He is just not that into you!”

Richard is also sick of seeing dating profiles that are way too predictable online. They all look like they have been scooped out of the same Dating for Dummies book. He said that he is sick of reading about how a woman loves long walks, swimming and going to the movies. He is also sick of the “I can go from hiking boots to high heels in a flash” or “I am as comfortable in velvet as I am in denim.” He is also sick of women writing how they like to play pool with the boys only to find out that they can’t play at all. Still, I did point out that when the woman can’t play it gives him an ideal opportunity to put his arm around her.

So is Richard looking for a marriage partner? Yes he is he just has not found the right girl online yet.

What is it with dentists? Why are they all sex addicts? I have gone out with two dentists so far and had the most toxic experience with each.

The first one was this guy named Paul, who was an implantologist from Toronto with a thriving practice. He was quite a bit older than me and I knew he had kids but he told me he was divorced.

Phil and I go out to art openings and have fancy dinners and we have sex every which way is possible. Then after three weeks of I love you and passionate love making he just stops calling.

After a few civilized and then frantic calls to his office I then end up calling him at home. Instead of a call back I get an email saying that I had made too much of everything and that he was happy with his wife. This sent me into a depression for weeks on end. I probably never cried so much over a man as I did with this dentist Paul who I considered to be the love of my life.

I probably shouldn’t have opted to see yet another dentist but I was just so lonely. I had even been warned this one is a sex addict but I still did not control my impulses. He was also good looking, handsome and very rich. He was my second implantoligist and his name was Mark.

This guy also had a practice in Toronto and a woman who was his ex wife and secretary. He also had two girls from Somalia there that working as his assistants and he said that they were his daughters.

So what happens? After weeks of bliss and even a trip to Dubai for him to find better-heeled patients from the Arab World he invites me back to his house, which is supposed to be his own personal Shangri-la. They’re lying naked and making out with each other among the velvet cushions and Koi pond complete with splashing waterfalls are his ex wife and his two supposed daughters. He then told me that they were adopted and that is why he is allowed to have sex with them.

I got out of there but my reward was a punishing and brutal silence. I did not get an explanation, apology or even a begging to try it again.

In retrospect I realize that both of these dentists were real sex addicts. In fact I found out recently that foursome reason it is quite common in that profession. Apparently having lots of sex helps them boost their confidence and arrogance so they can get their jobs all day. It also helps them relieve all of the depression and tension that is apparently the result of looking inside someone’s mouth all day. In fact if you have a dentist sex addict story of some kind I would really like to hear about it.

Want to impress your next date. Try the latest rage - the Tomato Water Martini.


Tomato water can be described as being the essence of the tomato. It has been all the rage since Martha Stewart featured it on her show recently. Chefs on television are now busy including tomato water in all kinds of recipes. It is also used as a decorative drizzle on a plate.

You would think that tomato water would be red or pink but it is actually a pale yellow juice. It also a very strong smell that goes well with anything that goes well with tomatoes including olives, tomatoes and salads.

Tomato water is usually enhances with a bit of a salt. It is a gourmet item so it only needs a small amount of salt to become the base for summer cocktails and soups. You can also add them to pickle recipes to give them more of a nip.

Tomato water is great for making tomato water martinis and also for making richly flavored gazpachos and cucumber based soups. In fact the tomato water martini is also sometimes dubbed as the dirty martini. Usually these martinis are garnished with interesting things like caper berries or pickled tomatoes. For a different treat try making the tomato water martini with gin instead of vodka. Tomato martinis are becoming all the in the big fancy bars in New York, Los Angeles and Miami.

To make the tomato water, puree ripe tomatoes and place the mixture in triple-ply cheesecloth. Tie the cheesecloth together in a bundle Hang the bundle or let rest in a chinois, with a bowl resting underneath to catch the tomato drippings. Leave the puree to drain at room temperature overnight. Let it drip for as long as possible. The next morning, the liquid captured from the tomato bundle will be deeply flavored and aromatic. You can bottle this tomato water and put it in the fridge and use it to make great salad dressings or you can drizzle it on bread along with some olive oil. Don’t use tomato water that has been sitting all day unrefrigerated on the counter.

If you want your tomato water to turn out right make sure you make it in the manner just described. Don’t try to use some kind of press or blenders. Just manually chop up the tomatoes and bundle them and let them be. In a way the less bruising and manual handling done of the tomatoes themselves the better the tomato water will taste in the end.

It’s January so it is time to be concerned about weight loss because you have to look all slim and beautiful for that date. The thing is most of the products sold online is that they do not help you lose fat. They only cause you to lose water. The loss is temporary and doesn't include any fat. Diuretics can promote dangerous dehydration and cardiac problems. As soon as the body is dehydrated, the weight returns. Meaningful weight loss requires loss of body fat not water.

One sure way to tell that you are dealing with a weight loss product that is a diuretic is if it makes outrageous promises, such as "Lose Ten Pounds a Week" or "Lose Ten Pounds in Three Days." This is only possible if you are going to lose water weight.

You can also figure out what products are diuretics by looking at the ingredients, which according to the FDA must be listed from the most to the least. One of the biggest culprits is caffeine. Caffeine may be listed on the box as a main ingredient or it may be concealed in an ingredient such as green tea.

Most magical weight loss formulas (and especially those that are marketed as Chinese or miracle weight loss teas) contain herbs that act as diuretics. There is no such thing as a "fat burning herb" only herbs and botanicals that cause an increase in heart rate, breathing and other functions. This is not "fat burning" it is simply stress for the body that may trigger it to burn more calories.

Here is a breakdown of some of the most common herbs that are described as fat burning or weight loss miracles but that are actually diuretics.

Bochum. This herb is native to South Africa and is a powerful diuretic. Its main side effect is dehydration and the symptoms that come with it such as dizziness and fatigue

Dandelion - One of the safest diuretics, dandelion contains two diuretic chemicals, eudesmanolides and germacranolides, as well as the mineral potassium, which helps to regulate water balance

Horse Chestnut. Horse Chestnut is an old remedy for individuals with blood pressure problems and for varicose veins. It is a powerful diuretic that should never be used more than a day or two. Its main side effect is dehydration.

Kola Nut - This is a powerful diuretic that is not to be trifled with. The side effects are excessive thirst, nervousness, anxiety, restlessness, frequent urination, urges to go on an empty bladder, over stimulation, mania and insomnia.

Uva Ursi. Uva Ursi is traditionally used to treat bladder infections by increasing urine output. Side effects include frequent urination, urges to go and dehydration.

The weight loss herb Hoodia is also classified as a diuretic. Drinking half your body weight in ounces a day of water will aid your metabolism in breaking down fat cells and flushing out toxins.

If you must take a diuretic, beware of carbonated sodas and caffeinated beverages; they may cause stomach cramps, nausea, diarrhea or cause further dehydration while taking these kinds of weight loss supplement formulas.

I am so sick of men being pathetic at seducing us I thought I would lay out some guidelines

After you get a woman on the date you want to make sure you can take her home and successfully seduce her. This means that you need to be set up to be prepared for anything and everything.

Girls love to sit down and get to know a guy while being wined and dined. They love to be served and feel beautiful, like a princess. There are subtle ways that you can do that make it different than anything they’ve experienced before.

Don’t do the usual chip and dip and a bottle of wine. Go to a little more effort than you usually would.

First off clean up your place, as women don’t like mess. Make sure your place is clean, that your bed is made and clean your bathroom. Make sure that there are no whiskers in the sink and that the toilet seat is gone.

Do all of your dishes, take the garbage out and your place doesn’t smell. Wash any dirty socks.

Yet another thing that is very important to women is a guest towel with which to wipe their hands with and enough toilet paper on the roll.

Remember this – the cleaner your place is the more likely she is to respect you and also feel safe when she is with you. You will also appear powerful, as she will wonder where you found the time to make your place so nice.

Prepared cheese plates, wine and champagne is going to impress her. Avoid spreads that are too strong like ones with garlic or onions as their main ingredient as it will make her nervous about her breath and yours. Stick to blander but interesting foods.

Most women like Brie cheese and you can this at most local supermarkets or discount gourmet stores. However it’s not about over doing it, it’s about little touches that fascinate and leave her wanting more. For instance lay a little flower beside the Brie or use an antique cheese spreader.

A real delicacy is black caviar on a slice of avocado on top of a table cracker. This is the kind of thing you could easily feed her.

Strawberries and chocolate are also a good choice as they are both seduction foods as well.

Get some white wine and champagne as well. One bottle should be enough.

If you have a fireplace, light it. Yet another reason why your woman appreciates firelight or candlelight is because it is simply more flattering. Great candle scents are vanilla, orange, patchouli or sandalwood.

Make sure you enough music for several hours, without having to keep getting up to change it. Did you know that you can sign up for tunes for free and have the use of their 24 hour streaming radio, in every genre is also free? As long as you have a high-speed Internet connection, you can enjoy music no commercials all night.

Boys before you decide to ask anyone out on a date can you please get rid of your jealous ex? I just had the worst experience with a man who seemed to have a stalker on his tail.

Okay first of all he lied to me. He told me he was single when in fact he was still living at home with his ex girlfriend. How did I find this out? She ran after me with a kitchen knife and threw shoes at me is how.

This is how it went down. I met this guy John at a party and he said he was a lawyer and he was single. He also told me a bit about her but I had no idea they were still living together. After meeting John for coffee a few days later we decided we would go tout to see a play that my friend was in and then take it from there.

We went to the play and then out to dinner and then I drove him home. He lives in this nice stately old house in the Art Deco part of town. We go up to his front door and he tries the key. The door opens and then it shuts right in his place. Someone inside relocks the door and won’t let him in.

Before I can ask him what I sgoing on I see this face in the window and hear a voice screaming “Get off my step and away from my man you fucking bitch.” This apparently is his ex.

WE go back to my car and get in. He tells me that she is his ex and that she has nowhere to go so she is living in the downstairs aprt of his home and he is living in the upstairs and that it is still cool for me to come. Idiot that I am I decide to give this another try.,

He knocks on the door , she opens it and she has a knife in her hand. I of course see this and high tail it down the street. This is when she starts taking off her shoes. He gets into my car and hides. The next half hour is spent watching her pound the crap out of my car as if she was an ape testing a suitcase. Of course the whole time she is screaming at him while I watch from the bushes.

Finally the police come and Little Miss Frothing at the Mouth is taken away. Needless to say I just could not have a relationship with a guy under these circumstances. He sent me email after email begging fro me to understand that he really was single but quite frankly I like myself and would rather not be stabbed to death by a kitchen knife or have my eye put out by a woman hauling shoes in my direction. Until he gets rid of that jealous stalker, there will be no bookie from me?